How nice it would be to get reliable tools in order to get out of the state of grief and oppression.
These tools are!
Of course, you can go to professionals for tools to fight their own condition, but psychologists will most likely start to torment you with questions on the topic of childhood, tk. they were taught to look for the roots of all problems precisely there. If you and your childhood and claims to your father and mother have long figured out yourself, and all have forgiven and all understood for a long time, if you want to rush the process, then such specialists are unlikely to help you quickly.
You can and should try to pull yourself out of the grip of a depressed state, which holds you so tightly in your arms. Do you remember how the heroes of the children's fairy tale successfully pulled out the turnip? Approximately the same thing you should now do with your head. I'll have to drag myself out of the grip of grief for the scruff of the neck.
You urgently need some reliable tools to eliminate the failure that the system of your body has given. You need a "screwdriver and a hammer" to fix the broken mechanism of joy.
As Anna Akhmatova once said, "If only you knew from what rubbish poems grow ..." So your current state can be cured for the shortest moment by the most nonsense event. For example, they accidentally met an old friend or found a large sum of money on the street ... Are there enough events that will make you forget about your grief for a split second. So what does this mean? So you can forget about your grief, after all? It is interesting, but is it possible to make absolutely consciously our own efforts to forget about our woeful state? It is about the state, and not about the person dear to you.
Believe me, however tragic your circumstances may be, they do not at all cross out your chances of future happiness. The misfortune only created a temporary veil in front of your eyes, which you can completely relieve, if only you could recognize what is bothering you.
The main focus is to find something that will make you forget about your woeful state (I emphasize - it's about the condition, not the person you lost). How to find something that will help to switch consciousness from negative to positive? How to find an occupation that makes you concentrate on something else? Believe me, you will find it if you consciously start looking for opportunities to switch. Switch instead of persisting in saving their woeful state.

Exercises:
In the morning before the mirror, try to "erase" the sad expression that has become habitual.
As soon as sorrowful thoughts come into your head, start counting from 100 to one or multiply in your mind two-digit numbers. Drive sad thoughts!
Speak aloud the alphabet in reverse order "backwards".
You can say, "I'm thinking about something else. Everything's fine!".
Put conscious obstacles to your mind, trying to drag you back to the "log" of sorrow.
Make plans for vacation, even if you do not have enough money yet. Switch your brain from thinking about losing to any other topic, the main thing is not to let your thoughts spin through the usual circle!

Psychotherapists are advised to make an effort over themselves and smile, let through force, because. There is a physiological relationship between the movement of the facial muscles and our nervous impulses. There was a signal to cry, and our lips are twisted. Smile - and lips are stretched. But if you force your will to stretch your lips in a smile, a positive signal comes through feedback to the brain.
And with this difficult smile, it would be good to go to the mirror at the beginning of the day and say to your reflection in the mirror: "Good morning, dear (or expensive)!"

The lessons that made people lose the grip of grief:
someone escaped from the grasping paws of depression thanks to a flood of work that made a person concentrate on specific tasks.
someone was forced to devote time to children, and with their lighthearted carelessness they forced a man suddenly to wake up from grief.
someone has recovered through sex, through bodily pleasures. The body remembered the joy of being, forcing the brain to register and recognize the returned sense of joy. Body chemistry is simple: sex stimulates the release of dopamine and serotonin, not to mention endorphins.
Sports - a fairly reliable partner in the fight against grief.
many seek healing from their losses, trying to help other people. Everything is suitable: volunteering in children's homes, helping an old neighbor. Meeting with someone else's grief helps change your point of reference in relation to the scale of your personal tragedy.

So, you decided to "wake up" from grief. This is what happens in everyone. Man decides to return to the real world. We suggest that you expedite this process. Sorrow is like a disease. Unsustainable grief is a prolonged period of adaptation to the negative changes that have occurred in your life. This is a condition that arises in people who flatly refuse to accept reality. Such people constantly say to themselves or out loud: "I will never get over it!" And, really, can not survive. 

This process in psychotherapists is called "neurolinguistic
programming. "A person programs himself to desperate anguish, to refuse to accept a changed reality, a person consciously preserves his negative state and marinates in it.When such people wake up, they immediately set themselves on an acute experience about their tragedy, and as if The catastrophe just happened, and so day after day, instead of breaking this circle, instead of putting your grief in the catalog of past events.
If you deliberately do not want to put up with your loss, your whole body struggles with reality. And reality is a tough and stubborn thing. It will not change. Must change the man himself. I must reorient the love that there is no one to pour now, I must change those habitual pleasures that have now become inaccessible. Have you ever seen people with an amputated foot skiing? Or read about how a person who has lost sight can adapt to the world? People can overcome any losses if they perceive them as not as a dead end, but as another obstacle.
How to break out of this impasse, from grasping paws of grief? How to deal with loss? We must constantly remind ourselves that now we will have to live differently, in a new way. All, of course, everything happens in different ways, but the general principle is one - grief can be overcome. You just have to ask yourself if you want to get rid of your pain quickly. Then for work!
First: take an inventory and write down that objectively good is really available in your life. Is it only a separate apartment? After all, everything that you consider only the background of your life, and regard it as a "norm", is often the object of someone's envy. Think about it!
So, tick a box if you have or have or had the following in your life:

• mom and dad. Not everyone can boast of such happiness

• brother or sister

• you have a place to live

• at school you had interesting friends, some of whom are still friends with you

• you have a person ready to listen to you

• you managed to visit different cities and countries

• you know how to cook / sew / dance

• you have experienced at least one great love in life

• you got by nature more or less good health

• you were able to defeat some serious disease

• you had / there is someone in whose boundless love you never doubted

• you once had (and maybe still is) an interesting job

• you were blessed with good looks

In general, the inventory showed that not everything in your life is so gloomy. And you thought that the fate of other people as generously rewarded as you? Or maybe you just got lucky? And your present sorrow is just a normal course of life?

It all depends on what kind of prism to look at your circumstances.
You can scroll your life, mentally slowing and "enlarging" good periods and quickly "squandering" the bad ones. You can divide your life into two screens: everything is good on one, and everything bad is on the other. Let's change the scale of these two screens, so that the safe screen eclipses the second, woeful. When you are in a depressed state, this is what your brain does with you - it understates the good and exaggerates the scale of the bad. Turn this process back! It's not a real situation, it's how you perceive it.
You have EVERYTHING to be happy! Remove the gloomy glasses, and you make sure that the sun is still shining above your head!

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